Vanilla Bean Dream


Oh sweet mother of everything fat-tastic!!!

Broke out the Ice cream maker for the first time, and made one of my favortist Ice Cream flavor… Vanilla Bean.

It tastes like unicorns and rainbows!

I’m gonna share the recipe with anyone who cares.


  • 1 cup half-and-half (fat!)
  •  2 cups heavy cream (Super fat!)
  • 2/3 cup granulated vanilla sugar (Regular sugar can be subsituted)
  • 2 vanilla beans, split lengthwise and scraped, seeds kept (Duh, not vanilla bean ice cream without the seeds)
  • 6 large egg yolks (separating eggs is fun, I crack them all in a bowl and just gently lift out the yolks letting the white run through my fingers, you can do it however you do)
  1. Prepare an ice water bath by filling a large bowl halfway with ice and water; set aside. Combine cream, half-and-half, sugar, and vanilla beans and seeds in a medium saucepan and bring to a simmer over medium heat, stirring occasionally until sugar is dissolved, about 12 minutes. DO NOT LET IT BOIL!!!
  2. Meanwhile, whisk egg yolks in a second large bowl until smooth. Remove cream mixture from heat and slowly pour about 1 cup into the egg yolks, whisking constantly until smooth. (Trickle it in, this tempers the egg to the heat rather than cook it, and stir stir stir)
  3. Pour tempered egg mixture back into the pan and cook over low heat, stirring constantly, until custard coats the spoon, about 2 minutes. (When you draw your finger across the spoon, it should make a mark through the custard, like Moses with the red sea, but tasty)
  4. Remove custard from heat and strain through a fine-mesh strainer into a third large heatproof bowl to remove lumps, scraping as much vanilla bean through the strainer as possible. Remove vanilla bean pods from the strainer and add to the custard. Place ice cream base over the ice bath to cool to room temperature, about 10 to 15 minutes.
  5. Cover and place in the refrigerator to chill, at least 3 hours or overnight. Once chilled, remove the vanilla pods and freeze in an ice cream maker according to the manufacturer’s instructions.  Fresh Ice Cream holds for about a week, but if it lasts that long you’re doing something wrong.

Sorry for the lack of pictures detailing the process, I kinda forgot to do it.  Tomorrow when I make Coffee Ice Cream (see my previous rant about Haagen Daz) I will try to remember to food Pr0n the process for you.

Vanilla Sugar:

1 Vanilla Bean per 2 cups of sugar. Pour sugar into an airtight container, Split and scrap seed into sugar,  set pod in as well, and store sealed in a cool, dry, dark place for up to two weeks.  Use it in place of regular sugar.  (I keep a quart jar full of this at all time, and give it a shake from time to time to avoid clumping and to scour flavor from the bean)

The shrinking package


Before anyone gets exited no, this not about how the cold shrivels sensitive bits.

I bought an indulgence because it was on sale.  Haagen Dazs coffee ice cream.

When did they drop 2 ozs out of their packaging?  A whole quarter of a cup. An entire scoop of deliciousness! GONE! But the price point is still astronomical.

It’s no longer a pint it’s just a mini container of shattered dreams.

I might have missed it if it weren’t for my buddies Ben and Jerry.  They cleverly have “still a pint” on the lids of their pints.  This caused me to inquire why, and now, I’m still eating the ice cream, but I’m bitter!  It’s still damn tasty though.

Granted I’m already fat, so I don’t really need that half a serving.  It’s the principal of the matter.

Also noted their quarts aren’t even full quarts.

For shame…

Now it’s time to perfect my own coffee ice cream because this shall not stand!

Buffalo Roast Chicken


WARNING: This post contains delicious flavor and may cause hunger.

So the other day I was at the store and regardless of why I’m there I peruse two areas.  The first is the bakery area, because I’ll grab some bread to make bread pudding or other pastries to eat that day or the next.

The next area is the meat section.  The reduced sales on meat can be real money savers, especially if your gonna freeze it or use it that day.  I worked in a kitchen and went to culinary school so I have some tips on looking at reduced sale meat.  Today I saw two things that caught my eye, some bulk chicken wings I took home and broke down into drummies and wingers and vacuum sealed them in packs of 10ish. Ended up with 56 wings spread through 5 packs.  The other was whole organic Chickens.

So with chicken what you look for at the store is this: What color is it?
Fresh chicken will be a good pink fleshy color and is it gets bad it grays out a bit.  If it’s a touch gray use it that day if it’s more gray than pink don’t buy it.

Once it’s home you’ve got smell and touch to work with.  Bad chicken gets a sour almost ammonia like smell, and gets super slimy and sticky.  Chicken always has a bit of a slimy feel, but if it persists after you rinse it it’s too late.

So huge win with Organic Chicken at about a buck per pound, it was over 50% off.

Came home and decided I was gonna roast it, but with a twist.  Marinating in Buffalo Sauce!

  1. Rinse the chicken well inside and out and make sure any giblets are removed from the cavity.
  2. Into a zip lock or vacuum seal bad it goes, over the chicken I poured about a cup of Frank’s Hot Buffalo wing sauce making sure it got inside and coated outside, and into the vacuum sealer it went.  Any wing sauce will work or you can make your own simple buffalo by combining your favorite hot sauce with butter.  Increase butter for milder, increase sauce for spicier.
  3. Let marinate for at least an hour or two in the fridge
  4. Preheat oven to 350
  5. Put in oven safe roaster (I used my Guy Fieri Dutch oven my wife got me for Christmas, it’s amazing)
  6. If you so choose, stuff the cavity with celery or onion (I always use onion) and a little butter, it helps keep things moist.
  7. Into the oven for at least an hour and a half (Temp check in the thickest part of the thigh you want an internal temp there of about 175F, avoid hitting the bone for your most accurate temp)
  8. Let rest for 10-15 minutes, carve and enjoy
The chicken all dressed up, ready for the oven.

The chicken all dressed up, ready for the oven.

I’d have taken some post game photos, but I forgot because it smelled soooooo good I had to devour.  The skin is gonna be firey, the meat juicy with a touch of heat, if you want to kick it up spoon a little of the pan juice over your chicken.  The wife had to eat hers with a side of ranch

Welcome to my world


I was always told when starting some sort of venture to provide a mission statement.

So the mission statement of this blog is to subject innocent people to my life.

Why is my life blog worthy?  It’s probably not, but hey 99% of the internet isn’t really worth anything.

An introduction… my name is… wait a second I’m supposed to be anonymous.  Why anonymous?  First let me say that I understand the internet and that people can dig and figure out my information.  Second I’m not in anyway shape or form affiliated with the hacker group Anonymous, not that I think they’re bad people, but I’m far too lazy to have hacking skills.

I’m too lazy for a lot of things, I had this idea for this blog two weeks ago and was too lazy to start it until today.  But once I start something I’m fairly good at following through… ask my wife!  (Cue Andrew Dice Clay “OH!”)  Yes I am married, pity this woman.

What am I gonna talk about on this blog?  Yes.

It’s gonna be my observations, food Pr0n, talking about TV, movies, video games, nerd things, life, love, mongolian BBQ, and really whatever else I want to talk about.  I will try to put content warnings at the top of the page so if it’s about a topic you don’t like you can waltz past it.

Comments: I’m open to comments, but be respectful to people.  I know the internet gives everyone the right to be as big of an asshole as they choose too, but I’ve never bought into that.  Talk to people like you would talk to them in person, and if you’re a huge asshole in person I hope someone punches you in the face.

I think that’s all for the moment.